its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
