Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
