Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
