I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
