I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
