why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize