So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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