just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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