I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
