Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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