Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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