he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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