its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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