Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
