also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
