I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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