I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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