Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
