how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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