btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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