I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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