do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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