and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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