Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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