You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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