OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
