Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
