My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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