The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize