Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize