They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize