Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
