i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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