Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
