my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
