Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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