He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
