Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
