69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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