I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
