i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
