Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
