U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
