eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
