I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
