I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
