I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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