FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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