i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
