sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Randomize
