I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
