im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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