Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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