can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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