Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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