I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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