she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I have aggressive nipples.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
