i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize