Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
