fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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