He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
