Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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