i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
