just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
